What if

What if you die first and I continue to live?

What if I don't love you?

Bosanlah. X-years and counting sometimes you are not counting something worth it.

What if it is so hard to be happy when you are around?

I don't really like your either. 

I wish I don't have to stay. 

Is this a come-back?

 Assalamualaikum.

Setelah semakin berusia, saya telah menjadi sopan (sedikit), semoga boleh diperbaiki. :p

The story is,

One day, I went for our detox-coffee session, when The Usual Suspects (namely Ain, Hajar and Fik) talked about our young era. Kau. Tua sangat eh.

Er approaching 40-s makes me feel old however I want to feel young though.

We reached the session when suddenly my blog came across the conversation and we ran through my old (read: tua bangka) posts... and when we read them, some questions were then answered in these years. How time flies.

Alhamdulillah, life has taught me alot and will need to learn more, insyaAllah.

One day, when I am no longer here, you can scroll to a tiny part of my life that I cherished: some portions contain you, all praise to Allah. 

Let's see if I can continue writing.

My current desktop background. FYI. :p

Kbye.

wink wink ~.^

SaidaMj 

TK stands for Terima Kasih

Hello everyone in TK. Here goes my appreciation post, I couldn't post it to my socmed acc because I am pemalu type of lady [ughh].

1. IZWAN

Mr Phamacist of the year, my neighbour. Keep on beramal jariah, in case someone ngepaw you at Family Mart in the future, pls be happy. Haha. And, be kind to your neighbour, including the big brother from Family Mart.

2. Kaklin

Thank you for your mom's rendang and sambal udang, actually I kept a secret that I felt like crying when I ate your rendang during raya eve. Jangan garang2 selalu yeeeeerrrr. ✌️

3. Akma

Be happppy Akma, untuk breastfeeding future. Hihi. And, you are veryyy generous but make sure don't waste the food you buy. Jangan Nakalllll Eeaaaa. 😋

4. Mardhiah Aladawiah

This lady has taught me kemahiran hidup. How to cook ayam masak lemak and what to do when your car screams, it just needs new bearing. Nanti makan matcha tu ingat sikit kat RJ pun ada Family Mart. 😌

5. Fatin Farhana

My concert gang, weeeeeee I am amazzzzed with your talent. We will have another concert for sure. Tengtengtengtengtengtengtengteng we were both young when I first saw youuu... 

6. Siti FY

Siti situ sana sini, you go girl with your healthy lifestyle but please don't over do it. Solehah tau dak ni dia rajin puasa sunat wehh alhamdulillah. Keep it up! 

7. Putri Sahjat

My geng surau, thank u for being my jemaah I adore you. Rajin buat plano, don't forget to arrange my plano just now, okay. 

Overall I just cannot thank you enough, all of you, alhamdulillah that we crossed path. 

I am sorry on everything I did wrong and.. 

my good bye simply means see you again. 

Adios. 

Wink ~. ^

My Lovely Daughter

Assalamualaikum

Introducing our latest product

 

A lovely baby girl named Maryam Anna Humyra bt Muhammad Izzat

Alhamdulillah

wink wink

Good bye 2017

Hello Dusty-bloggie

I am giving a new nick name for this page "Dusty-bloggie" or when I am too lazy in future I will just call you DB

That is the fate for a blog
Please accept that my dear DB

Btw
Tomorrow will be a new start for my ageing life - I will be 31 OMG - 
not my birthday actually it's just the year 

Looking back for this 2017
Despite there were hiccups here and there
Life has been great alhamdulillah

Lets pray for a better year and life forward
I foresee myself as a busier momma in 2018 that I will have my 3rd baby pop-out in early February and will have to register my PhD in April hopefully
My eldest baby Kiriz will go to school - feel old enough my boy is growing bigger
My 2nd baby Wildan - I pray that he can bear longer with every blood transfusion and start his chelation smoothly

And please God give me more money hihihi
Ameen

wink

Hello Dusty Bloggie

Assalamualaikum

I am 32 weeks pregnant with my third pregnancy yippie

I feel like my talent to write a blog post has gone

It feels like I have nothing to scribble



Hihi

I just want to make sure that my blog will not die


However

I am happy

Ok daaa

Till I write again

wink

Faded

Years have passed and the only thing I can make the percentage better is my body fat. :(

Midlife crisis is seriously exist, it takes me to the whole new arena of life, which is misery.

If I were to compare my life before these 5 years, it would be a complete set of contrast in my usual state. Happiness was my middle name before, but now I ought to remind myself to be happy.

My previous-self is sometimes fading, too overwhelmed with sadness sometimes despite my look is almost as homogenous as before.

Faded. I hope I will go before you.

Do you know that it is ADDICTIVE

Hello and hi again my page

So long that I have not feel this way for quite some time

Let me tell you what I do for a living

I am a research assistant (again) who loves to write papers
What I did was I write a blog post instead of a manuscript

Do you know why
Because I felt so sleepy that I have to eat cheese buns
Don't (eh symbol ini boleh pulak) you think that is super crazy
That I will put on weight and keep annoying myself with my jelly belly

Eh I want to tell you
Sometimes I felt inferior that I am working part time-ly as a research assistant that I cannot make loan to buy a new car
HAHA

Then I will pat my shoulder saying that my part of blessing in this life is actually countless

That is the most important thing in my life
Thank you husband for this life --- eh why so out-of-nowhere

Love myself truck-loads
SaidaMj

After a LONG silent

Assalamualaikum

So that I came back here again
Not hoping anyone to read what I write (haha kasihan tidak)
But seriously not

I found that my life is not like before
Obviously

It is not that I became not as happy as before
But the commitment of being a (wonderful) adult --- blerghhhh

I am just an ordinary person
I can buy what I want to buy (with little amount of money I would not want to buy a BMW lah obviously)

Overall I can say that being 30 is not that hard
Haha
I just wake up everyday without stress
I can still choose to sleep with my dream or wake up and chase my dream

I do not involve with a stressful event in life yet
Grateful that I can still enjoy watching Paw Patrol even though I really want to watch other TV channel
But hey

Being a mother is super great

Okay
So that if you notice
My keyboard has problem with symbols

Till we meet again

I LOVE MY LIFE muahhhh - I kiss my life HAHAHAHAHA

Sleepy
SaidaMj

Kitchen Newbie

Of all the place in the world (at least my small world), I choose kitchen, because I fall in love with Donal. He he. 

I will serve love on every plate and hope the foodies could dive to heaven with every bite of my cooking.

Semoga cepat bertaubat daripada segala hiperbola pastu esok masak sesedap untuk suami berbuka. Hehe. 

Salam Ramadhan 1437 / 2016.

Wink, 

idatazira

why am I doing this?

Assalamualaikum.

Krisis2 hidup dekat nak cecah umur 30 pun datang. Dia dalam bentuk emosi dan fizikal.

Sepatutnya bila usia meningkat, perlulah malu kalau ibadah tak meningkat. Kan.

Tu celah2 iman goyang, mulalah komplen sana sini. Segala benda tak cukup.

Hm. Baiklah. Akan cuba insaf. Selanjutnya, baiklah pi tido dulu.

Adios.

Pregnancy and Breastfeeding

Assalamualaikum.

Today I am 39 weeks pregnant with my second baby. How grateful :D, alhamdulillah, it's an easy pregnancy yet again, I didn't vomit at all through this time. No morning sickness at all, at all!! :D

As I came back to Malaysia from the UK, I was already 3 months pregnant, and all the way in the 12-hours flight, I breastfed my Kiwish. He was too clingy, imagine, 8 hours in the flight, he didn't move from my breast, God-forsaken, only He knows how much strength he gave me during that time.

Good bye, London!

Even until now, I still breastfeed Kiwish, directly! Walaupun melibatkan masalah emosi, emak mengamuk malam-malam sebab pinggang sakit, dia masih melekat di you-know-where itu, breastfeeding is still safe for pregnant woman. You may claim that your nipples become more sensitive towards the increasing trimester, but as a mother, it's bearable (I think).

You might want to do a little research about breastfeeding while being pregnant, please do. Boleh dicari di group penyusuan susu ibu di Facebook or just Google. Kalau nak lagi saintifik, you may go for scholarly articles. From my reading, there is still no evidence that this is an issue. Selamat for mommies and breastfed babies as well as babies in the womb. So don't worry, regard it as a bless.

People might say,
tak baik, nanti anak yang menyusu tu mudah sakit
tak baik, nanti anak dalam perut tak cukup nutrien
nanti tak pasal premature contraction

I went through it, and all the sayings are just not right (at least for me). You may try and please not to worry what people say. If you have the love for your kids, you will do it without hesitation. Trust me, your baby will be safe, inside out even though you're breastfeeding.

* * *

I wrote this post few weeks ago and now my newborn is 13 days, the big baby, Kiwish is still breastfeeding, but not regularly, he is learning to let it go.................... let it go. Hihi.

Breastfeeding is safe during pregnancy. I did it, and nothing wrong with it.

wink wink ~.^

My my

I set a taboo to myself to write terrible things about people.  Afraid that it will make my bad side becomes transparent, but I am too normal that have feelings, anger and sadness. I too have options to hate and love,  but not that angelic to love every second. Knowing that is a weakness, I need shoulder to lean, ear to listen.

Can you just wipe your tears when you're terribly sad and become euphoric at a blink of eyes? Bet you're too perfect to do so. I totally can't be.

There were days, I was filled with loaded of loves and foods. Of course there were some, the days were filled with tears and anger.

I accept to die with empty stomach, and not dying alone, at least I am always be accompanied by the little baby in my womb. Enough of blessing.

Ripped.

introduce yourself (please)

Introduce yourself.  As in an interview.

I attended an academic post interview last month and that was the first question (not really).  Er fyi I spotted that question but I flunked answering it, well because I prepared my answer in English and I was asked that question in Malay. What a heck.

Aha. Baru nak masuk 3 tahun duduk UK dah tersedak bila kena cakap Melayu memang boleh bla.

Sekarang saya akan jawab soalan tu dalam bentuk karangan.

Nama saya Saida. Umur 27 tahun. Asal Negeri Sembilan. Hobi masak, makan, 'stalking' fb and ig orang ramai.

Saya dah kahwin, anak satu, lelaki. Lepas saya tamat master di UKM, saya ikut suami sambung belajar di UK dan jadi surirumah sepenuh masa.

Sekarang saya gulung master buat tukun. Tak. Daripada pengamatan saya, orang ramai cakap bestnya hidup saya. Takyah kerja, duduk UK.

Aaa. Memang best pun. Tapi...

Oklah. Biarkan ia jadi misteri.

Wink wink ~.^

unlucky me

I am sad to be unlucky.
Blames are on me, wholly.
Emotions are overwhelming everything.
Feel like hating, anger just couldn't get out the window.

Mmg syaiton suka kalau marah.
Astaghfirullah.

Sunglasses for Women Online

Heyya,

I am welcoming myself and doing this, you know, I am absolutely a normal woman. Hihi.

Marilah secara tetiba bercakap pasal fesyen kerana fesyen untuk semua. In fact, I love wearing sunglasses, so here goes. 

Sunglasses are the accessories to dress up your outfit in the most effortless way possible, even though you are on a tight budget. Just revamp your outfit and bring your glam and tadaaa tadaa your sassy personality will magically appear when you put on the sunglasses.
If you want to look stunning like Olivia Palermo, [er if you don't know, she's famous with her fashion style] there are three sunglasses which look like the socialite, let me tell you. Sekarang I pakar. Well, it's the power of reading :p Hehehe. 

1. Aviator Sunglasses

Olivia is always seen donning upon a pair of aviator sunglasses on her day to town in casual attires. From basic plain tees, blouses to jumpsuits, Olivia works her way flaunting beautiful pairs of aviator sunglasses in anything she wears. This fashionable woman is always in front of her A-game showing that fashion does need to be expensive.   

2. Cat-Eye Sunglasses

Olivia is also a fan of wearing the sexy pair of cat-eye sunglasses designs. Instead of applying a cat-eye eyeliner make up look, women can also style cat-eye sunglasses to show off the elegant side of them. The socialite knows perfectly how to match the cat-eye sunglasses to compliment her small heart face shape.

3. Mirrored Sunglasses

The third eyewear Olivia loves wearing on her day outs is the mirrored sunglasses. The advantage of wearing a mirrored sunglasses is that it could hide your terrible dark circles as well as tired eyes. It cannot be denied that we have those bad days which we are just too lazy to apply any concealer on. Mirrored sunglasses will definitely cover your eyes completely and people could never notice the puffiness of your eyes. 

If you cannot wait to style sunglasses like the famous fashion icon Olivia Palermo, check out ZALORA for a wide range of sunglasses for women online from various local and international brands. Check it out, OK. 

Till then.

p/s This post is a collaboration with ZALORA Malaysia. Thanks for the words. Hihi. 

Wink wink ~.^

I am writing to you WL !

Assalamualaikum

The fact that I feel weird when it comes to do an academic writing, that's why I shift to this blog-posting instead. Hihi.

Guess you know the feel when you are on a long [read VERY SUPER LONG] holiday, and then you need to 'work', so it's kind of hard, I can tell. You might want to know what is it that I am working on. It's a proposal for a PhD application. I don't have any placement and fund yet [secret mission :p] so I can't tell you more. Masih berdoa kalau inilah rezeki untuk kami, moga Allah mudahkan *tangan nasyid, please*.

Anyone here wants to be a housewife? Being one doesn't mean that you are not working, in fact you're working 24-7. If you don't have kids, then you may cheat your working hours. Hehe.

Nothing much to babble here, I have a more serious thing to do [read watching Masterchef].

GTG. SYS.

wink ~.^

Broadband is set! Yayy!

Assalamualaikum

It's a come-back, perhaps. I wish so.

Sebenarnya tadi macam eksaited pasal rumah baru pasang broadband. Oh sebelum tu, ingin dimaklumkan, kami dah berpindah dari Stoke Gifford, Bristol ke Southend-on-Sea, Essex. Masuk tiga minggu duduk sini, masih belum kenal atau jumpa warga Malaysia.

Matjatlovelove pasang broadband kat rumah sebab nak tengok EPL. Oklah tu, daripada beliau menjadi zombie melayan home-bound wife dia ini yang suuuuuka gila duduk rumah hahaha. Sangat malas nak keluar sebab I have to have reasons to go out. Kalau nak bawa Kiwish jalan, sekarang malas. Sebab Kiwish kaki buli. Bukan nak duduk dalam stroller. Jalan sendiri taknak mama pegang tangan. Independent konon Kiwish tu.

Baiklah. Gambar sikit. Because EPL has just started last week. Ini stadium musuh tradisi suami. Nanti kita akan pergi ke Emirates Stadium pula. Hahahaha entah bila. Ok. SYS.

Wink wink ~.^

Salam Syawal di Perantauan

Assalamualaikum.

Hehe. [Tengok. "Hehe". Mana ada nangislah]

I'd like to wish all my family and friends, Eid Mubarak!

Pengalaman pertama beraya di perantauan dengan suami dan anak. Tadehalll. Tak nangis pun (lagi). Di Bristol sedang musim panas dan panasnya you can tell, it is HOT. Er tapi tak adalah sepanas api neraka. Bearable. Ya, Malaysia lagi panas. Tapi UK musim panas kena puasa 19 jam. Heh tak habis-habis kecoh puasa 19 jam. Fact is, it's just you psychologically think that it's a burden, but it's not. It's just a challenge, and normal human being will have no problem to face it.  Allah's will.

Dekat UK belum raya lagi, ada 8 jam lagi puasa.

Salam aidilfitri buat semua kenalan dan yang tak kenal nak anggap saya ucapkan selamat hari raya pun boleh. Terima kasih sebab sudi bukak blog ini yang hidup segan tapi mati sangat mahu. Haha.

Sekian.

wink wink ~.^

Kembali

Assalamualaikum. Hai!

Rasa macam nak bom blog ni tapi itu bukankah dongeng. Jadi, saya harap kepada diri sendiri boleh bersikap waras. Er juga kepada rakyat Malaysia, siapa ikut cakap bomoh, bolehlah mohon ampun segera kepada tuhan.

Blog ini semacam tiada masa depan. Sedih pulak. Tak jadilah. Emm mungkin saya akan menukar genre blog kepada genre masakan. Sebab hobi saya terkini ialah memasak.

Oleh itu, kita tunggulah sama ada itu cuma impian atau angan-angan. Hihi.

Payahlah nak update guna phone. Lagipun anak sulung (heh ;p) asyik campur tangan bila saya pegang barang elektronik. Hmm.

Oklah. Bye.

Wink wink ~.^